But here's my question: Why should it matter to me or anyone else that Texas man's wife contributed $75K or $0 to their family? It shouldn't. That's between themselves and God, and that's really it.
I think a lot of stay at home moms feel this horrible pressure to validate their choice to stay home with children (that they hopefully made with their husbands), and instead of asking for validation from their husbands, they have to go the internet and get it.
As a blogger who broadcasts the details of my financial life, I wonder if I am doing the same thing as "Texas Man". Am I merely trying to defend my financial choices? I hope not, my goal in blogging is to shape my view on finances, and help others to approach finances without fear. As a result, today I decided to defend why I don't have to defend my choices, and neither do you.
1. Money isn't a primary motivator in some choices.
We also say that we desire ongoing financial contentment over striving to fulfill temporal desires. Sometimes, I want to do things that are great financially (like take a higher stress job to earn more money, start a side hustle, invest more aggressively, cut expenses further), but don't serve to foster contentment in my heart. One of my favorite Bible verses is 1 Tim 6:6, "Godliness with contentment is great gain." I would rather have contentment than wealth any day of the week.
Simply put, we try to control our finances, so that our finances don't dictate our choices. This is a great privilege that we haven't earned, but we are happy to take advantage of it, and I encourage you to do the same if possible.
2. Sometimes I make bad financial choices.
We did a bunch of investing with CapitalOne360 instead of Vanguard, and I'm pretty lazy, so I haven't switched 100% to Vanguard. It took my husband and I 18 months to notarize our wills. Sometimes I give to causes or people I'm not 100% sure that I would recommend to the entire internet.
These are poor financial choices. Hopefully, I'm not prepared to defend every single bad choice I make in a day. I just make them and live with the consequences. Maybe I can learn a thing or two.
3. When I'm defending, I'm not learning
*Please don't mistake that statement for thinking that I'm wrong, or that I'm wishy washy on my convictions. If I thought I were wrong, I would change my opinion. Also, I'm a big believer in having convictions even if there's a lot of grey area.